Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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