And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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