***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
