bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Sorry my hands just texted you
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
