if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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