The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize