Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
