Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
birth control should be required to get into college
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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