no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
