She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize