it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
