Im at strip club and am horny
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
