you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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