Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize