He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
