We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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