I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize