the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Damn victory sex feels great
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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