It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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