why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
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