Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
If that was your dad, he is hot
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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