Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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