so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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