People in love make me want to vomit
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
