YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
