he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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