Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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