her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
