Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
