I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
