So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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