porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
