my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
