Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize