why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
