Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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