margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
