Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
