i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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