Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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