i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
