remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
