How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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