Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
