the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
