Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
The cops high fived after they tackled you
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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