no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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