i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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