Where did you get a picture of my penis
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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