Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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