is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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