i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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