your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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