You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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