I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
