Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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