What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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