? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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